Comments for The Pastor's Wife http://www.pastorswife.com Encouragement and resources for women married to ministers. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:20:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Comment on Spiritual Abuse by Janice Hartig http://www.pastorswife.com/2012/01/spiritual-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-775 Janice Hartig Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:20:38 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=501#comment-775 The saddest tale is that of spiritual abuse in the church. I too became part of that "judgement" when I first became a Christian at the age of 16. My wonderful conversion became tarnished by a lack of grace. Originally the pastors of this church began portraying the love of Christ to the community. Over time, the pastors and their congregation became cultish. They tattled on others violations (i.e. dancing, movies, hair cut, make-up), they required immense amounts of time to be spent in the church or at approved Bible studies, and they prophesized that those who left the church would find trouble, including physical death to themselves or their families. Eventually I was able to "break free." This was due largely in part to a Christian sister in Boise who questioned my assertions and called me to kindness. This has not been an easy path, especially regarding close family members. I have had to step back often and give my own "judgemental attitude" to the Lord. When we take on judgement, we don't trust God to handle His business, and then we lose the greatest blessings of all: "His grace is sufficient...for me and others." The saddest tale is that of spiritual abuse in the church. I too became part of that “judgement” when I first became a Christian at the age of 16. My wonderful conversion became tarnished by a lack of grace. Originally the pastors of this church began portraying the love of Christ to the community. Over time, the pastors and their congregation became cultish. They tattled on others violations (i.e. dancing, movies, hair cut, make-up), they required immense amounts of time to be spent in the church or at approved Bible studies, and they prophesized that those who left the church would find trouble, including physical death to themselves or their families.
Eventually I was able to “break free.” This was due largely in part to a Christian sister in Boise who questioned my assertions and called me to kindness. This has not been an easy path, especially regarding close family members. I have had to step back often and give my own “judgemental attitude” to the Lord. When we take on judgement, we don’t trust God to handle His business, and then we lose the greatest blessings of all: “His grace is sufficient…for me and others.”

]]> Comment on Changes – Again by sylvia http://www.pastorswife.com/2011/02/changes-again/comment-page-1/#comment-759 sylvia Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:15:29 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=431#comment-759 I am married to a baptist pastor for six months now , i was having difficulty adjusting to the new change since i was in a charismatic church before we married . i felt stressed and depressed from the beggining thank you for the post it has explained exactly what i was going through sylvia Greetings from Ghana to everyone I am married to a baptist pastor for six months now , i was having difficulty adjusting to the new change since i was in a charismatic church before we married .
i felt stressed and depressed from the beggining
thank you for the post
it has explained exactly what i was going through

sylvia
Greetings from Ghana to everyone

]]> Comment on Ideas by Lu italy http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-740 Lu italy Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:18:15 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-740 Kasey, i was so taken aback by what i had read i didn't see your post telling of how the situation had become so much better. It's a great help to read how the Lord moves and softens hearts, teaches us patience and to keep trusting Kasey, i was so taken aback by what i had read i didn’t see your post telling of how the situation had become so much better. It’s a great help to read how the Lord moves and softens hearts, teaches us patience and to keep trusting

]]> Comment on Ideas by Lu italy http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-731 Lu italy Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:08:59 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-731 Man! This is a tough job! (PW) @ kasey Burt it sounds like your husband is reeling. I praythat the situation is changing for the better, that this 'club' for it cannot be called a body of beleivers is responding to the leadership of your husband by now. My heart really aches for you and will pray for you by name often. @michelle - take Godly advice from your husband not from a woman who doesn't seem to have a spiritual mothering heart. Listen overall to God's leading and remember we are all different. I struggle terribly in of my husband's churches but the other is like home and on the long and winding road that brought me here The Lord has handed me, despite myself many useful tools which itvsems He allows me to use for His glory alone. I was reminded recently i am a pastor's wife not a pastor and so i don't have to be everything to everyone, this gives me permission to support him and our children effectively. You be the wife mother woman you beleive God designed you to be...and there in all of that i spoke to myself too! Phew! I needed a good talking to. Man! This is a tough job! (PW) @ kasey Burt it sounds like your husband is reeling. I praythat the situation is changing for the better, that this ‘club’ for it cannot be called a body of beleivers is responding to the leadership of your husband by now. My heart really aches for you and will pray for you by name often. @michelle – take Godly advice from your husband not from a woman who doesn’t seem to have a spiritual mothering heart. Listen overall to God’s leading and remember we are all different. I struggle terribly in of my husband’s churches but the other is like home and on the long and winding road that brought me here The Lord has handed me, despite myself many useful tools which itvsems He allows me to use for His glory alone. I was reminded recently i am a pastor’s wife not a pastor and so i don’t have to be everything to everyone, this gives me permission to support him and our children effectively. You be the wife mother woman you beleive God designed you to be…and there in all of that i spoke to myself too! Phew! I needed a good talking to.

]]> Comment on Ideas by Michele http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-728 Michele Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:44:44 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-728 My husband and I had been extremely active in our church. He was a Deacon and I was the children's director for Kids church, VBS and Wednesday night program. I also planned events for church fellowship; women's exercise night, monthly game night, monthly movie night, superbowl party, etc. My husband has recently became a Pastor at another church, which the previous pastor retired. The previous pastor and his wife have continued to stay. But I don't feel like a fit. The previous Pastor's wife continues to say she was looking for a replacement as much as her husband was. But when I ask what I can do to help her or what does she do as the pastor's wife versus a member of the congregation, I don't get an answer. I've tried bringing up ideas for fellowship for everyone just looks at my like I'm an alien. Has anyone experienced this and if so, what did you do. Wanting to serve, but ........ Michele My husband and I had been extremely active in our church. He was a Deacon and I was the children’s director for Kids church, VBS and Wednesday night program.

I also planned events for church fellowship; women’s exercise night, monthly game night, monthly movie night, superbowl party, etc.

My husband has recently became a Pastor at another church, which the previous pastor retired. The previous pastor and his wife have continued to stay.

But I don’t feel like a fit. The previous Pastor’s wife continues to say she was looking for a replacement as much as her husband was. But when I ask what I can do to help her or what does she do as the pastor’s wife versus a member of the congregation, I don’t get an answer.

I’ve tried bringing up ideas for fellowship for everyone just looks at my like I’m an alien. Has anyone experienced this and if so, what did you do.

Wanting to serve, but ……..
Michele

]]> Comment on Ideas by yvonne http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-690 yvonne Tue, 13 Dec 2011 23:02:11 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-690 Wow just ready some good news and bad ones!Man I must say everything work for the good to those who love God.So let look up to Him the Auther and finisher of our faith the Alfa and Omega.Love you all Wow just ready some good news and bad ones!Man I must say everything work for the good to those who love God.So let look up to Him the Auther and finisher of our faith the Alfa and Omega.Love you all

]]> Comment on Changes – Again by Aurora http://www.pastorswife.com/2011/02/changes-again/comment-page-1/#comment-656 Aurora Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:58:47 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=431#comment-656 I am not a pastor's wife, but I am a woman in need of some godly advice. My husband and I attended a church for 8 years, but my husband began to have some issues with the decisions of the pastor and chose to leave and attend another church. I didn't go with him right away because I felt that the Lord needed to deal with him and I would just be a hinderance. We were both in agreement that I would continue to attend the church where we started and he would attend at this new church. After one month I too left my church, with the blessings of my pastor, and started attending church where my husband goes. I have been there for 3 months but this change has been very difficult for me. It's a much larger church, I haven't made any real friends, and the way the women's ministry works there is totally different than the church I came from. I have expressed to my husband how I feel, but we usually end up just arguing. When I read those 3 things about what change can do, it definitely described what I feel. Sometimes I do feel like taking things into my own hands and just return to where I used to attend. But I know that that would only hurt my husband. He is thriving at this new church, but I feel like a fish out of water. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am not a pastor’s wife, but I am a woman in need of some godly advice. My husband and I attended a church for 8 years, but my husband began to have some issues with the decisions of the pastor and chose to leave and attend another church. I didn’t go with him right away because I felt that the Lord needed to deal with him and I would just be a hinderance. We were both in agreement that I would continue to attend the church where we started and he would attend at this new church. After one month I too left my church, with the blessings of my pastor, and started attending church where my husband goes. I have been there for 3 months but this change has been very difficult for me. It’s a much larger church, I haven’t made any real friends, and the way the women’s ministry works there is totally different than the church I came from. I have expressed to my husband how I feel, but we usually end up just arguing. When I read those 3 things about what change can do, it definitely described what I feel. Sometimes I do feel like taking things into my own hands and just return to where I used to attend. But I know that that would only hurt my husband. He is thriving at this new church, but I feel like a fish out of water. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

]]> Comment on Roots by Veronica http://www.pastorswife.com/2011/01/roots/comment-page-1/#comment-609 Veronica Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:01:10 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=407#comment-609 Boy, did I ever need this today! Thank you! Boy, did I ever need this today! Thank you!

]]> Comment on Ideas by kasey burt http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-542 kasey burt Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:35:49 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-542 <a href="#comment-540" rel="nofollow">@Carol Bird </a> I want to thank everyone who responded to my post over this last year, it was October 2010 when I posted and I had not been back on here until today. Thank you Carol and Jim Bird for reminding of this site :) I have to say that GOD has been incredibly faithful in so many areas! Both of our Churches are now very loving and very supportive. Sometimes in very rural areas change is slower in coming, because trust is more challenging. What I do know is that God's LOVE wins...and I mean by you and I loving others regardless of whether we have been hurt or not, we must LOVE. It is a portion of our calling, to place our own hurt aside and look forward to what can be and what will be. I am so blessed by our congregations and I have to say that I hope I have been a blessing to them in some way :) @Carol Bird

I want to thank everyone who responded to my post over this last year, it was October 2010 when I posted and I had not been back on here until today. Thank you Carol and Jim Bird for reminding of this site :)

I have to say that GOD has been incredibly faithful in so many areas! Both of our Churches are now very loving and very supportive. Sometimes in very rural areas change is slower in coming, because trust is more challenging. What I do know is that God’s LOVE wins…and I mean by you and I loving others regardless of whether we have been hurt or not, we must LOVE.

It is a portion of our calling, to place our own hurt aside and look forward to what can be and what will be. I am so blessed by our congregations and I have to say that I hope I have been a blessing to them in some way :)

]]> Comment on Ideas by Carol Bird http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-540 Carol Bird Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:18:12 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-540 <a href="#comment-141" rel="nofollow">@Kasey Burt </a> Kasey, I am so sorry that you had to experience that rejection! It must have hurt and is hurting so bad. My husband Jim wrote you on Worthy. He wanted you to know that the first two comments from you were deleted, body that is, the headers were left. He got your last one of three. He tried to find you on facebook but came up m t. So here I am. I just can't believe that you experienced this judgement and rejection in a body of Christ by the elders or influential members (?). Unimaginable. I am like my husband with denominationalism and the destructive power of ethnocentrism; which at first glance concerns exclusivly ethnicity but he uses the word in the generally understood social science usage which encompasses most all forms of social rejection by human groups and subgroups (pride/superiority issues). Your experience is a case in point and probably why your frist two comments were deleted as Jim's comments (totally unaware of who you were or what you were going through) probably triggered and outpouring from your heart and soul which was "unapproved." Racism is a base (Neandrathal) form of ethnocetrism which can only really be explained by Christians. Science can only observe the effects but the source is spiritual; demonic, of which we are overcomers. Dr. Charles Stanley ("In Touch Ministries") a couple of weeks ago or maybe last week, explained that if we are God's children we are not victims in his series on wisdom through trials. He said that we should see a trial as an opportunity to learn another lesson from our Daddy (in control of all things and who loves you very much.) But that is easy to say and your situation appears so hard. After your primary relationship with the Lord you NEED your husband's love and support and protection at any cost. We will pray that your husband is able to effectively deal with this in such a way and we will pray that you are bale to continue to hold your head up radiant with God's, your Daddy's, love and forgiveness. What you are going through is an opportunity for you to show that what they fear (source of racism) is not in you but that you ARE of the Body of Christ and the proof of their belonging is upon them; as they surley, surley are NOT behaving as members of the Body. My husband would like to hear from you. He is at facebook as Jim Bird. These people's rejection of you is NOT a personal issue in any way although it may appear and feel so. Rather it is a collective ventilation of evil energy using you for its expression. If you don't satisfy their expectations with their response they will learn to find another target. See it as it is; not racial discrimination but rather an attack by the adverdary whom we are capable of defeating. May God bless and strengthen you. @Kasey Burt
Kasey, I am so sorry that you had to experience that rejection! It must have hurt and is hurting so bad. My husband Jim wrote you on Worthy. He wanted you to know that the first two comments from you were deleted, body that is, the headers were left. He got your last one of three. He tried to find you on facebook but came up m t. So here I am.
I just can’t believe that you experienced this judgement and rejection in a body of Christ by the elders or influential members (?). Unimaginable. I am like my husband with denominationalism and the destructive power of ethnocentrism; which at first glance concerns exclusivly ethnicity but he uses the word in the generally understood social science usage which encompasses most all forms of social rejection by human groups and subgroups (pride/superiority issues). Your experience is a case in point and probably why your frist two comments were deleted as Jim’s comments (totally unaware of who you were or what you were going through) probably triggered and outpouring from your heart and soul which was “unapproved.” Racism is a base (Neandrathal) form of ethnocetrism which can only really be explained by Christians. Science can only observe the effects but the source is spiritual; demonic, of which we are overcomers. Dr. Charles Stanley (“In Touch Ministries”) a couple of weeks ago or maybe last week, explained that if we are God’s children we are not victims in his series on wisdom through trials. He said that we should see a trial as an opportunity to learn another lesson from our Daddy (in control of all things and who loves you very much.) But that is easy to say and your situation appears so hard. After your primary relationship with the Lord you NEED your husband’s love and support and protection at any cost. We will pray that your husband is able to effectively deal with this in such a way and we will pray that you are bale to continue to hold your head up radiant with God’s, your Daddy’s, love and forgiveness. What you are going through is an opportunity for you to show that what they fear (source of racism) is not in you but that you ARE of the Body of Christ and the proof of their belonging is upon them; as they surley, surley are NOT behaving as members of the Body. My husband would like to hear from you. He is at facebook as Jim Bird. These people’s rejection of you is NOT a personal issue in any way although it may appear and feel so. Rather it is a collective ventilation of evil energy using you for its expression. If you don’t satisfy their expectations with their response they will learn to find another target. See it as it is; not racial discrimination but rather an attack by the adverdary whom we are capable of defeating. May God bless and strengthen you.

]]> Comment on Ideas by missy roberts http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-487 missy roberts Tue, 04 Oct 2011 01:09:57 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-487 <a href="#comment-141" rel="nofollow">@Kasey Burt </a> OMGosh Kasey it is the year 2011, right?! That should never ever be tolerated - I seriously could not believe what I was reading ~ and these people call themselves Christ followers for real? Interracial??? God created the HUMAN RACE and it is a beautiful creation! This is outrageous and I can't believe these blatant racists can look at themselves in the mirror. There is no place for that ugliness, sickness and divisiveness in Father's family. Lord Jesus, plz help all involved here ~ I pray for strength and courage for Kasey and her husband and for you to lift them up, out and away from the ignorance of those people ~ I ask for the perpetrators to experience conviction and that you would heal them of their sickness and put your truth in them. Thank-you Lord Jesus that Justice and Righteousness are the foundations of your throne. Amen @Kasey Burt
OMGosh Kasey it is the year 2011, right?! That should never ever be tolerated – I seriously could not believe what I was reading ~ and these people call themselves Christ followers for real?
Interracial??? God created the HUMAN RACE and it is a beautiful creation! This is outrageous and I can’t believe these blatant racists can look at themselves in the mirror. There is no place for that ugliness, sickness and divisiveness in Father’s family. Lord Jesus, plz help all involved here ~ I pray for strength and courage for Kasey and her husband and for you to lift them up, out and away from the ignorance of those people ~ I ask for the perpetrators to experience conviction and that you would heal them of their sickness and put your truth in them. Thank-you Lord Jesus that Justice and Righteousness are the foundations of your throne. Amen

]]> Comment on Ideas by Lucy http://www.pastorswife.com/ideas/comment-page-1/#comment-362 Lucy Sun, 04 Sep 2011 19:32:42 +0000 http://pastorswife.dreamhosters.com/?page_id=58#comment-362 <a href="#comment-141" rel="nofollow">@Kasey Burt </a> Please try to get yourself the books of the author: Dag Heward Mills. These books will change your life! @Kasey Burt
Please try to get yourself the books of the author: Dag Heward Mills. These books will change your life!

]]> Comment on Power Struggles by karamat masih http://www.pastorswife.com/2010/05/power-struggles/comment-page-1/#comment-359 karamat masih Wed, 31 Aug 2011 16:29:24 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=279#comment-359 DEAR MADAM PASTORS WIFE. How are you and your family. we hope you will be fine there spending very pleaset life, i am working for the child labour and bonded labour.be cause i am also the victim of the brick killen owners,i spent my life as a slave for many years after that i would succeded to easape and got F.A certificate.it was my heartly desire to open schools for these childrens. i made a N.G.O.WHICH IS WORKING FOR THE CHILD LABOUR AND BONDED LABOUR.these people are slave as they were in the past.if you want to support them.then you must think about the nation.we are running 5 school 15 teachers are working on this project. we hope you will think about the nation and these children.if you want to see our work please come and see it in pakistan.we after visit the brick killens and give the teaching of BIBLE and offer for them.please think about them for their freedom.we hope will not disppointed us. THIS IS MY NGO MOTO to eradicate the child labour.to eradicate the bonded labour.to eradicate the slavery.to promote the literacy rate of pakistan.to make the students good citizen of this country .we are struggling to eradicate the slavery through education. thank with best regards. PLEASE REPLY THIS MAIL DEAR MADAM PASTORS WIFE.
How are you and your family.
we hope you will be fine there spending very pleaset life,
i am working for the child labour and bonded labour.be cause i am also the victim of the brick killen owners,i spent my life as a slave for many years after that i would succeded to easape and got F.A certificate.it was my heartly desire to open schools for these childrens. i made a N.G.O.WHICH IS WORKING FOR THE CHILD LABOUR AND BONDED LABOUR.these people are slave as they were in the past.if you want to support them.then you must think about the nation.we are running 5 school 15 teachers are working on this project.
we hope you will think about the nation and these children.if you want to see our work please come and see it in pakistan.we after visit the brick killens and give the teaching of BIBLE and offer for them.please think about them for their freedom.we hope will not disppointed us.
THIS IS MY NGO MOTO
to eradicate the child labour.to eradicate the bonded labour.to eradicate the slavery.to promote the literacy rate of pakistan.to make the students good citizen of this country .we are struggling to eradicate the slavery through education.
thank
with best regards.
PLEASE REPLY THIS MAIL

]]> Comment on Tangled Speech by fatoumata http://www.pastorswife.com/2010/02/tangled-speech/comment-page-1/#comment-310 fatoumata Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:49:58 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=249#comment-310 i am very happy to get your address mummy. and am very happy for the story about your life. my name is fatou from senegal. i was a muslim, i gave my life to christ in 1989. since then i thank God for my life. i know that Jesus is the way the truth and the life. so mummy i need prayers from u. i am a evangelist in Dakar - senegal. may the lord bless you and your family. this is my email above. this is my phone number 00221778062555. God bless you. i am very happy to get your address mummy. and am very happy for the story about your life. my name is fatou from senegal. i was a muslim, i gave my life to christ in 1989. since then i thank God for my life. i know that Jesus is the way the truth and the life. so mummy i need prayers from u. i am a evangelist in Dakar – senegal. may the lord bless you and your family. this is my email above. this is my phone number 00221778062555.

God bless you.

]]> Comment on Changes – Again by sarah http://www.pastorswife.com/2011/02/changes-again/comment-page-1/#comment-297 sarah Fri, 24 Jun 2011 23:54:31 +0000 http://www.pastorswife.com/?p=431#comment-297 Thank you for this insightful piece, at just the time when I need it. I have definitely been responding to my stress in these three ways in the last few weeks, and explaining this to my beloved may help him understand where I am at! Thank you for this insightful piece, at just the time when I need it. I have definitely been responding to my stress in these three ways in the last few weeks, and explaining this to my beloved may help him understand where I am at!

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