Posted on

Chosen

Merry Christmas from Mike & JaniceLast night, Mike and I were watching the news regarding the latest fiasco of the rich and famous, specifically, this week, Tiger Woods.  I was once again struck by how sad it would be to have your husband cheat on you.  Infidelity rips a hole in the sacred fabric of a marriage that no matter how meticulously it is mended still leaves an indelible scar on the soul of those affected most by it.  When a spouse cheats on their partner, they are sending many messages, but the core lesson is you are not important to me.  And being the central, most important character in the story of a marriage is paramount.

When I think about everything a woman is seeking from her mate, the fundamental desire is the realization that out of all the women in the world, he chose you.  Romance is good, laughter is wonderful, shared goals and dreams are essential, but knowing that he will choose you every time over everyone and anything standing is what gives us our security.

When a husband is a workaholic, the extra hours are not what cause the pain, it is that he chose his job over you.  It does not matter what is substituted, the damage is caused because we have come in second place. And my heart went out to Tiger’s wife and every wife who has thought she had been chosen by her lover only to discover that he didn’t have the same definition of choose that she had.  I still get a thrill when Mike walks into a room and our eyes meet.  That connection reminds me that I am the one he is searching for first.  That I am important to him.  Each time it happens we reinforce our emotional bond.

This Christmas Season, dwell on the fact that you were chosen by God.  That everything that played out down through the ages was done in order that you might be chosen by Emmanuel to be His love. And allow it to burn brightly within and comfort you.  Blessed are you among women for God chose you.

Have a very blessed and Merry Christmas.

Janice

John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you.

Posted on

Procrastinator — with a capital P & that rhymes with T & that stands for Trouble!

At the weeping rock in Zion National Park
At the weeping rock in Zion National Park

I am a class-A procrastinator. I could teach evasion tactics to black-ops (yeah, a lot of my time is spent reading espionage thrillers if you couldn’t tell). Which of course explains why it took me two months to get a new program up and running on the website, not to mention why I just got my box of winter clothes stored away – just in time to take them out again, and why my Fourth of July decorations stayed up until September 1st.

Despite what my family and friends believe, I do not like being a procrastinator. I long to be organized; an on-top-of-everything woman. So in search of a solution, I logged onto Amazon to search for a book I could order (someday) and read (later) to help me curb this problem. I found, The Now Habit — A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination. I punched the button on my new Kindle reader. In less than 60 seconds the book was downloaded and ready for me to read. Well, how is that going to help a procrastinator? Having it right here means I need to read it right now. So I did — or scanned it, I guess I don’t need to add lying to my problems.

Imagine my relief when I learned from the book that I really was not lazy. Yes! I am actually a perfectionist who avoids completing tasks in order to stave the inevitable poor self esteem that will result from not completing said task perfectly.Obviously that was not the whole theme of the book. It did have some helpful hints for me, and I am glad I paid $4.99 for it; it was worth my time.

However, the popular glossing of unpalatable truth brought to my mind how un-Politically Correct the Bible is. The Bible reduces problems to their bare essentials, strips away subterfuge and, in my case, identifies my personal procrastination problem succinctly as lazy [Prov. 6:6-10].

Unfortunately for me, the Bible is right. First of all, I know beyond a doubt that perfectionism is not something with which I struggle. I procrastinate because I’d rather: smell the flowers, read a book, take a walk, go for a drive, surf the internet. It is true I also procrastinate when too many things pile up and I am immobilized because of the weight of what awaits me. And there are strategies to help me, however, most of the solutions start with not procrastinating, so you see the cycle I’m dealing with here.

However, when you’re really ready to deal with a problem, it is comforting to know that the advice you receive is direct and true, whether it’s couched in pretty language or not. Excusing a drinking problem with explanations of stress or abuse with excuses of a bad childhood yourself, keeps us locked in our destructive cycle. God’s Word calls it what it is and offers the solutions. How comforting.

Posted on

Listen… Don’t Assume

Janice HildrethApproximately three years ago, I began a Saturday morning Bible study breakfast for some friends with whom I’d been building relationships, hoping to lead them into a relationship with God and/or be an encouragement to their relationship with God.

It was a lot of fun. We rented an apartment clubhouse and I’d go in about 7 a.m., make my mother-in-law’s Famous Egg & Sausage Casserole, brew up coffee, slice fruit and generally get prepared — praying over each chair and table as I set up. By 8:15 they began stumbling in, still sleepy, but willing to get out of bed early to meet on Saturday. We played ice breakers, handed out door prizes, ate, laughed and got to know each other.   I brought a 45-minute Bible lesson and we managed it all in one and a half hours, start to finish. In the span of a few years I had approximately 40 different women who came through the door and were taught and mentored.

Then last fall we had a series of events that occurred in our church in which a large portion of our already small congregation moved out of state for new jobs, due to high unemployment in our area. This occurred at the same time that the apartment association of the clubhouse we were renting doubled our fees.  Suddenly we couldn’t afford to pay the rental fee for the club house. I brainstormed all sorts of scenarios: moving it to the church – something I didn’t feel was what God wanted me to do because I knew many of the women  would not attend. I considered asking for a small donation to help pay for the rental, but again, didn’t feel that was what God was directing.  So, as a last resort, I simply asked God what I should do. His answer was simple: Stop.

Stop? Stop a Bible study? But it’s going too good, God. Who will minister to these unchurched women? I’m having success here why would I quit?

Again, I heard: Stop.

So I made the announcement and stopped the Bible study. It was a very hard decision to explain, even to myself.

So, six months later, I look back on that decision and ponder what I learned from it.
1. I realize I am learning to trust His instruction even when it doesn’t make sense to me.
2. I find confidence that whatever God planned to be accomplished through the Bible study had been accomplished for this time and it was time to stop.
3. I understand that a plan that is birthed by God can be stopped at God’s discretion — ie: we should not beat programs (and ourselves) to death keeping something going past the time that God has decreed.

Too often, we can take a program that was birthed by God and when its time has been accomplished, and God allows obstacles to enter, we don’t ask if its fulfilled its purpose we – by hook and by crook – keep that program going.

The God who starts something is also able to say it’s time to stop. Listen carefully to what God is saying.  Don’t start something unless God has told you to do so and definitely, do not keep it running longer than he says it should.

God Bless,

Janice