The Fullfilment of Hope
Another inspirational story to keep you going when you feel that God isn’t doing anything. It’s my older daughter’s story of her four year journey:
On January 11, 2015 I wrote to God in my journal asking Him to reveal a banner word for me for the year. A week later on a Sunday morning I felt God answering my request through the worship list which was filled with songs about redemption. So I wrote on the 18th that I believed God whispered to my spirit that my banner word for 2015 was the word Redeem.
- To recover ownership of by paying a specified sum
- to pay off, to turn in, to convert
- to fulfill
- to set free, to save, to restore, to exchange
- to atone for
- to serve as compensation for
- to reinstate, vindicate, absolve
- to reclaim, ransom, set free, emancipate
- to meet, keep, carry out, satisfy, make good
When I received this banner world it had been three years since I found out I was pregnant with our son Jaxson who we would eventually lose prematurely in May 2012. It had been a year since I miscarried my second baby. My heart was tired of grieving… tired of waiting… tired of being heartsick. I craved renewal. I longed for an end to my mourning. I remember asking God to just take away my desire for children if that longing was never to be fulfilled. I wanted to move on. I looked over the landscape of my last three years and craved for God to restore my joy. Whatever His plans, I was more than ready for something to break and set a new course.
The summer of 2015 was particularly trying. Completing my fifth and sixth rounds of fertility treatments had taken a toll on my emotions, compiled with the stress of a grueling work environment had me at my wits end. By the end of August we knew the treatments had not worked and it was the end of the road for pursuing this help in conceiving a baby. I decided to take a big break…from pretty much every area of my life and I went home to Boise for three weeks.
The past January and the prayers I had written in my journal about God’s banner word for me felt very far away. I hadn’t thought about that word for months and if you had asked me about it, I would have likely laughed bitterly at the thought that 2015 was supposed to be a year of redemption. Oh ye of little faith. My redemption was just around the corner.
- September 2015 I discovered I was pregnant.
- November 2015 brought answers for why I’d lost Jaxson so early and therefore plans were set to make sure it wouldn’t happen with this baby.
- December 2015 we were delighted to find out we were expecting a little girl.
We now have a nine-week-old baby girl named Olivia Hope. We call her Liv. She is the embodiment of “Living with Hope” through the darkest seasons of our lives. She is my redemption story of petitioning God for a family and the six rears it took to fulfill. As I hold her in my arms for late night feedings and pace the hallways of my home soothing her cries, I have time to meditate on my banner word which carried over from 2015 to 2016.
God is so good and also sovereign. Sarah did not understand why God waited until she was 90 before giving her Issac but he plays a pivotal role in foreshadowing God’s redemption plan through his almost-sacrifice by his father, Abraham. Hannah grieved her barrenness so openly that her priest thought she was drunk! But just as she promised, when God finally answered her prayer for a son, she gave him to the temple to be raised by the priests when he was just a young child. He would grow up to teach God’s redemption in the story of King David and Bathsheeba and their second son, King Solomon.
I will never understand why Mother’s Day weekend of 2012 was a weekend of loss for both myself and my friend Michelle as we both gave up babies from our arms that year…but this Mother’s Day I held Liv in my arms and Michelle walked hand in hand into her church with a nine-year-old miracle whose adoption story was also years in the making. Just as with Issac and Samuel, Liv, Macy, Gavin, and countless other children so long desired have a lifetime to showcase God’s ultimate redemption plans. Our Creator weaves his goodness and glory into our lives in mysterious and spectacular ways.
There is a Redeemer, Jesus, God’s own Son. Precious Lamb of God, Messiah, Holy One.
~Melody Green CCLI#11483
Therefore the Redeemed of Lord shall return and come with singing unto Zion and everlasting joy shall be upon their head.
~Isaiah 51:11, Ruth Lake CCLI#26313
All hail Redeemer, hail! For He has died for me. His praise and glory shall not fail throughout eternity.
~Chris Tomlin CCLI#6463818
My rock, my shelter. My very own. Blessed Redeemer who reigns upon the throne.
~Dennis Jernigan CCLI#208492